50 day challenge - 48 days to go!

It's been a few days since I've checked in. After my great day back on track Thursday, I stuffed up Friday night. But Saturday was great, and today is going really well. It's my birthday today! But I'm not interested in bingeing. And what changed my mind was stepping onto the scales on Friday night after a binge! Funny thing to do, but it was the shake up I think I needed. I weighed in at 66.9kgs. This was on Mum's scales, which weigh .6kgs higher than what is accurate (I worked this out long ago!) and also it was at night. So I figured that was ok, I should be about 65kgs by morning - and I was! So I've given myself this week to get back to 64kgs (preferably 63.5kgs so I will weigh in at WW next Friday at 64kgs...).

Yesterday I began a 50 day challenge! Just by myself :) It basically gives me until the end of May to get back to 59kgs. Once and for all fingers crossed! Instead of counting up though, I'm going to count down, e.g. 49 days to go, 48 days to go, 47 days to go... etc etc.

You've probably realised by now that whenever I binge, I have a 'new and improved' plan to try and get me back on track. Quite often, in fact, most often, none work! But I'm pretty determined (heck, I'm even tracking on my birthday!) and definitely believe in falling down 7 times, standing up 8! So this journey may be like a marathon, but I WILL get back to 59kgs.

Back on track!

I'm finally back on track! And feeling great :) Not as great as I'll be feeling when I get to goal, but give me a few weeks!

Yesterday I planned out my entire day as I had friends coming for dinner, in order to stop myself from overeating. I just had weet bix, 0 point veggie soup, a smoothie and a pear, so that I could save about 14 points for the evening. We had homemade hommus and veggie sticks, vegetarian burgers, lemon tart, ice cream and hot chocolate with mini marshmallows. I thoroughly enjoyed it, because I savoured every bite! One friend actually brought over some gourmet cheeses and cabanossi etc, but I didn't have any! I was very proud of myself.

Today is going well too. Had weet bix for brekkie, 10 rice crackers and hommus for morning tea, a salad and turkey meat bun with hommus for lunch and a smoothie. So had 9 points so far, and have 10 left. Not sure what to have for dinner yet.

I made up a table/grid with the next 7 or so weeks on it, and I'm planning to tick off my good days (hopefully all of them!). This is actually working quite well - it's a visual goal and I'm just really determined to get through the next couple of months, lose the weight, get back to 59 and stop thinking and worrying about all this!

No green salad :(

Morning! Well...I was going so well, and then went to a bbq last night armed with my vegetarian kebabs and planning to just have a green salad. I was actually already 12 points over for the day, but had planned to drop my points each day for a couple of days and earn it back (not entirely sure if that works, but I was happy to try it). When I got to the bbq there they didn't have a green salad, just a creamy pasta salad, a caesar salad with creamy dressing and an oily asian salad! And I hadn't saved any points for anything extra! Silly me. So I ate a lot. Including the cake and chocolate that came out after. And today I just feel awful. So bloated and hopeless! So back to day one again today :( If I don't do it now, it's going to get severley out of control!

Today is my 'birthday' (it's not until this Sunday, but I'm celebrating it with some friends tonight) and I'm catering. We're having hommus with rice crackers and veggie sticks, and then vegetarian burgers and then a point friendly lemon tart, ice cream and hot choc. All up my little dinner party is about 13 points, so I'll only be eating 6 points during the day today (which is easy as I made some 0 point veggie soup yesterday and I can have that for lunch). I'm not at all hungry today anyway, after yesterdays efforts!

I hate the hopeless feeling when your goal weight seems just so far away! It's frustrating... I hate being formerly thin. I want to be thin now! But I'm not after a quick fix. I want to do this properly and healthy and hopefully adopt habits that I can continue long after goal. They say it takes about 3 weeks to develop and keep a habit... but only 1 day to break it! Ahh so true. Anyway, I figure that I either do this, and do it properly, or stop worrying and be happy where I am. Well I'm not happy, so I HAVE to do this!!

Haystacks for tea

I'm finally back after a few days away without internet! Had a great weekend - not with food but thats another story! Let's just say I'm restarting my weight loss efforts today! I'm not feeling too bad about the whole thing. It's annoying that I probably have to spend another 2 weeks re-losing the weight I'd already lost (not sure how many - not game to weigh myself!), but I really did enjoy the weekend. I ate lots of healthy food - emphasis on lots - and then enjoyed chocolate and lollies and baked goods. I guess there are always going to be times in life when it's ok to just enjoy yourself, as long as there's an endpoint, and you get back on the wagon.

So day one again today, and so far, SO good. Had weet bix for brekkie, a salad, turkey and cheese sandwich for lunch, a blueberry smoothie, and 8 macadamia nuts (I had to shell them myself, yum!) I plan to have 'haystacks' for tea - refried beans, diced tomatoes combined and heated over 10 rice crackers and salad. Yummo, and only 3 points a serve. And filling too. I also plan to have an orange and poppyseed muffin, and a pear later. I'm not too hungry today, more just tired from the weekend away.

My plan now is to stop thinking and worrying about the weight loss, and let it happen. I know exactly how to do it, and it'll be interesting to see how long (or short) it takes me to lose the weight when I'm 100% consistent. Here's hoping I stick to it!